Dates #1 - #5: The Unmemorable's

Ok yall, the audience has spoken! I’ve finally given in and decided to create a blog. Welcome to what my Insta fam knows as the "DC Dates" saga (which I actually had to change the name of, as most of the dates were not even in DC but in the general DMV -- DC, Maryland, Virginia -- area). This was an ongoing trend (or ‘series’, as some people call it) that was not planned at all, but the first weekend I moved out here I already had a few dates lined up. I numbered those, and just kept it going from there.

About 98% of the guys in this series I met on the dating app Hinge. I personally feel like Hinge should sponsor me at this point, but that’s just my opinion (no seriously, I should be their Spokesperson by now). There's only been about 2-3 guys I met organically whether it be from work, Trader Joes, or even from a game night. Trust me, we’ll talk about them all!

I will say, most of these are pretty uneventful as they hadn’t moved past a second date. But… of those who have made it to the sequel? That’s where the real tea is spilled. So stick around, because you won’t want to miss a single episode of “Eb’s Dating Disasters”.

Now let’s rewind back time to where it all began: Date #1

Aug. 14th, 2021

A few weeks before I moved, I changed my location on Hinge from Cali to DC. I hadn’t had a single friend in the city, so I figured building some type of relationship and having at least one person in the city to hang out with wouldn’t hurt. This proved to be harder than originally thought. I was talking consistently with three different guys for two or so weeks, so after landing in DC on a Thursday, I had a date lined up for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Date #1, we’ll call him Sparks, he said he wanted to take me to the MGM National Harbor Hotel & Casino in Oxon Hill, Maryland. It’s exactly what it sounds like… a hotel and casino. Obviously, we weren’t checking out no hotel rooms on a first date, but he did say it was a nice place to walk around and that they had different food options. We did just that: we walked around, a few nice things to see, and ate at Tap Sports Bar.

I don’t gamble, so there wasn’t anything enjoyable for me to do besides the walking part, and as someone who does like to walk around places, even that wasn’t all that fun for me personally. The food in Tap Sports Bar wasn’t good to me either. Sometimes, I do like to give places a second chance and I do hear rave reviews about the MGM, but it’s not a place I would go out of my way to go back, although I’ve heard the spa was nice so I might have to check that out one of these days.

Obviously, I was into Sparks prior to the date or he wouldn’t have gotten a date to begin with, but somewhere during the date I wasn’t feeling it anymore. When we kissed at the end when he was dropping me off, I didn’t feel anything. No excitement. No “sparks”. I told him this a few days later, and we went back and forth exchanging voice note after voice note. Me trying to explain I wasn’t into him anymore, and him saying that it was only one date so of course there wouldn’t be any “sparks”. I don’t know… I’ve definitely felt sparkly after a first date (before my move to DC), so I knew it was possible. I just wasn’t feeling him anymore, and he told me he was blocking me on everything (as I am currently writing this post I was trying to find his instagram and was confused on why I couldn’t even though I had a picture of it… it just hit me why I couldn’t).

About a year and a half or so later I saw him standing in line at the target I so often frequent. I stared at the side of his head trying to figure out if it was him, until he did a double take and it was confirmed. After that silent realization, he turned back to face forward which was completely fine with me.

Aug. 15th, 2021

Date #2, we matched around the same time I matched with Sparks. He was really sweet. The day before we met he told me:

“And just so we clear…no matter what happens moving forwards after tomorrow…whether we keep talking, fall off, life gets in the way…whatever happens, I do want you to know that I meant it when I said I appreciate you Eboni”

I don’t recall much of what he appreciated about me, but it was nice to hear. He also told me:

“There’s some ppl you run across and their spirit just grabs you. You just know they’re not ya everyday…like if you were talking in a sea of ppl…it’s almost like they’d light up or be highlights amongst all those individuals. Invisible to others but not to you coz you know wassup. That’s you. Thank you for being you.”

The day of our date, he picked me up from my cousin's house who I was staying with at the time and… he was not attractive in the least bit... and he was around my height (I’m 4’11 btw). I’m not super nit-picky about height but, looks wise, he just wasn’t it for me. And I feel bad saying that because he was so sweet but his personality could’ve been a 10 and it wouldn’t have helped. “Looks aren’t everything” is… although true to an extent, it’s definitely a huge part.

I wanted to go to the mall and he kept bragging how Tysons mall was better than Pentagon mall (for the longest I didn't understand this since pentagon was four stories and tysons was only 2-3), but I slowly realized Tysons does have better stores. His plan (which wasn't obvious to me until later), was to compare the malls, so we went to Pentagon first. At some point in our driving there he was boasting about how he’s the best driver and he never got in an accident; this was after I told him I get nervous being a passenger because I've been in two accidents already. Maybe this was his way of trying to put me at ease? Which quickly went out the window because on our way back he went up a freeway exit ramp. When he noticed his mistake he tried to turn but because the ramp was so narrow he said we had to just commit. I was gripping the door so hard just praying no car was speeding down the exit. Although he was laughing whether because he really thought it was funny or out of nervousness/embarrassment, I was super uncomfortable and quiet the rest of the time in his car. He asked if I was okay but I just nodded silently."Ok now let’s go to Tysons," he said as if he didn't just try to end my life. What the hell do you mean?! Tysons is a good 45minutes from my place, the opposite way from where we currently were, but I didn't care if it was down the street. I had to correct him and say no we’re going back towards where I live. 

Before taking me back home though, I asked if he could take me to the grocery store since I hadn’t had a car yet, and since I had just moved two days ago, I needed a whole grocery list. Each grocery item I picked up, he would put it back to then pick up the item behind the first because “the first one is always touched the most”, a behavior I’ve since put into practice. We then went to Checkers, my first time having it and discovered they had the best fries in America (although the other food might have you hugging the toilet for a couple days). Once he dropped me off, though, I knew he wasn't seeing me again.

I don’t remember exactly what was said but I do know that shortly after that day I did tell him I unfortunately wasn’t interested anymore. He was understanding, and we ended amicably.

Edit: I asked some of the guys I went out with to give me one word or sentence to describe our date from their POV (not to include in the blog itself but to create a reel) and Date #2 said:

"Hey wassup Eboni…idk what you been thru or experienced since last time we talked, but I truly hope you been well, you’re doing well, and that the future for you goes the same. Happy for you that you’re creating a blog, using your voice, and expressing yourself; that’s dope fr. And my fault; it’s 2 sentences lol.

The person I am today looks back on my date with Eboni with grace & great appreciation for the role that date played in shaping me

—full transparency for you readers—God was watching over us that day because that wrong turn I made lead to us staring down the barrel of oncoming traffic (although a simple mistake it may have been, never underestimate the value of someone putting their safety in your care…to this day, I thank God we came out unscathed and I truly apologize to you Eboni for putting you in that dangerous & scary situation); outside of that moment, we had fun doing “everyday” stuff, so the greatest impression made was in the presence we brought just vibing in the company of each other. That said, I can’t lie, I think there was much more to her than what I got that day and l left that date wishing I could’ve gotten to see who she really was at heart."

Now on Sunday, I was supposed to hang out with the guy I was feeling above everybody. He was #1 on the roster, but the day of the date he… “ghosted” me if you can say that? We matched on Hinge around the same time I matched the previous two. I forgot if we had something specific planned or if we were just going to wing it but he didn’t say anything to me the whole day until 3 in the morning when he came up with some sob story about whatever. I honestly don’t remember if I replied or not… I don’t think I did. I was sad, especially since we never met face to face and he was fine (yes, we had facetimed a lot). This should've been my clue for how these DMV men were going to behave, but I knew no better. But I wasn’t sad for too long, I had another date soon afterwards…

Aug. 17th, 2021

Date #3 happened a few days later, and was the earliest date I’ve ever been on. He was a police officer and worked the night shift so he said the only time he was available was very early in the morning. I got my ass up at 6am to go to iHop with this man. Now, I’ve always been one that vowed never to date police officers (along with military men, lawyers, doctors, judges… as pessimistic of this view is I just feel like if they were to do something to me they could get away with it). But my cousin told me DC had some very good looking police officers and boy was she right. I mean, Date #3 himself was pretty average looking, but after seeing the fine specimen of police officers DC has to offer? Yes, I’ve changed my original stance on not dating them.

But ok so I’m at iHop with this guy, tired and in some sweats, and I don’t know if it was just because it was so early but he was probably the most boring date I had. Very low energy (I do say this as a morning person), so I wasn’t interested in seeing him again, especially since he was only available when he got off work in the morning anyway. I don’t even think I told him tbh. Conversation just died out until maybe a few weeks or somethin later he texted me and I would’ve considered going out again and giving it a second chance at a different time of day but… text conversations were still boring, so that was the end of that.

Aug. 17th, 2021 (later that night)

Date #4 was the cutest (at this point) so far. He picked me up and we went to my favorite place: Dave & Busters. Food, drinks, games… can it get any better? (spoiler alert: it can) but D&B has since then become my automatic go-to for last minute dates. There was nothing spectacular about this one either but it was obvious he just wanted to hit. Every few months after that he would text me with absolutely nothing to say. I think he got the hint that it wasn't happening between us when the last time he texted me he told me he moved into his own place in Virginia and I had to kindly decline his invitation for me to go over there. I don’t think I've heard from him since.

Aug. 22nd, 2021

Date #5 I just remember being uncomfortable. I’m almost embarrassed I went on a date with this one. He was late picking me up because he has this obsession with fixing cars and that’s what he was doing before getting to me. Very low key date. We just walked around this lake in Largo, MD. Hardly anyone was around but the lake was surrounded by so many trees it literally felt like walking through a forest. It was getting dark too so I told him we had to wrap it up quickly. He was also another unattractive man but his personality was very much that of a 16 year old boy – constantly playing around, making jokes that are not funny, and touching me unnecessarily. This connection died before it even started (or just wasn’t there to begin with).