Date #16 & #17 - New Year, New Disappointments

January 30th, 2022

Date #16 was a very spur of the moment date. I was getting off work some time in the evening and I told myself I would try this sports bar that was up the street - San Antonio Bar & Grill in the Brookland neighborhood in NE DC. I was talking to this guy on the app (of course), not sure how long, but I remember telling him of my plans after work and invited him along if he wasn’t doing anything.

Now, I may be wrong here, but I don’t think most people like after work dates or even available during the week because you’re tired, you’re not even dressed for a date… or whatever other reason. See me? I actually like after work dates because it gives me something to look forward to on my shift.

I was working in a group home at the time, one of the clients fell in the middle of the street and the police and ambulance ended up coming to the house (the clients were elderly and had disabilities). My clients were also Deaf, so I had to stay behind to facilitate communication between the paramedics and this client who was always cranky. After all this, it was actually nice to just chill with a new face and enjoy a meal at the end of the day.

I’ll be honest though, I don’t remember much about the date. It was as average as average comes. I don’t recall it being boring, just a couple of laughs here and there… but yea there was nothing between us. I think he knew that too because when he dropped me off at the dorm neither of us said anything to the other after that night.

February 7th, 2022 (day before my birthday)

Here we have another guy I met organically. He was a friend of a friend and… part of the Deaf community. Now anyone apart of the Deaf community knows how small it is. Everyone knows everyone (especially in DC) and so anyone a part of this community and reading this post might know who this person is. But idc, tell him!

So I’m looking through my photographer friend’s IG posts and I spot this guy who of course I’m like hold on this one is cute - eyes emoji - who is he?? I’m talking about it with her and she tells me he’s single and I should follow him and I’m like bet if you say so! We have a lot of mutuals anyway (we went to the same school) so I didn't think it'd be too weird. He follows back, and I don’t jump into his DMs right away. I give it some time, we start interacting with each other’s stories, I even posted a QOTD once that was technically directed towards him: If someone was interested in you would you want them to come straight out and tell you they’re interested or start with light conversation and work up to it? He voted for the latter. So that’s what I did. I tried to be casual but he was not giving me any vibes that he was interested at all. I even shared a few of our messages to my friend who said that he’s typically pretty cool and funny so it was weird that he was responding how he was. Not rude or anything just… serious. I don’t put too much pressure on it.

Eventually conversations were becoming more frequent. He started opening up a bit, flirting and what not. Honestly I don’t even know how it came up for us to go on the date and I got exhausted looking through old DMs. At some point though he said he would take me on a birthday date. And of course he was watching my DC Dates series on IG and didn’t mind being posted/numbered. Green flag! (or a potential red flag? Let’s keep reading…)

The night before my birthday he took me down U st. to MK Lounge. It was a Monday so naturally there weren't a lot of people, which was preferable to me. We were able to have our own space on the couches enjoying conversation. He asked if I smoked hookah and typically I don’t but it was still my birthday weekend so why not? We even ate there which honestly is kind of weird to eat in a bar to me (depending on the bar), but there weren’t sweaty people next to me or yelling over my food so I didn’t mind it. And it was actually surprisingly good too. I’m not gonna tell y’all what I ordered because on top of it already being weird to be eating in a hookah lounge, this item was also an interesting choice to have it sitting on my lap instead of a proper table.

Besides all that, even a lady came over to give me $9 and a birthday shot, not sure if she worked there or was a random but hey who’s complaining! The vibes were there and I was really feeling him to be honest. So yes the vibes plus the food, it was a really good date to my standards.

Now, my birthday is a week before valentine's day. He told me he was going to this R&B concert or festival and invited me along that weekend. A birthday date and a valentine's day date? He really had my attention. At this point I'm thinkin okay he's feeling me as much as I'm feeling him... especially to have a second date planned before the first is even over. The day before the Valentines Day date (or the morning of if I can remember), he had to cancel due to a health issue. Truly wasn’t upset about this, although I do hate canceled last minute plans. Here’s where my issue lies: if you were truly interested, you would’ve rescheduled no? Now, if you are no longer interested, that’s completely fine with me. But after canceling, he didn’t say anything to me. That’s the issue I had a problem with. We go to the same school, we obviously follow each other on socials, we know a lot of the same people… why just go completely radio silent? I would’ve completely accepted a “hey sorry I have to cancel but I also don’t think we should go on another date”. Would I have been disappointed? Yes. But I would’ve respected the truth more and we could’ve been cool after that instead of being awkward around each other around campus, pretending we don’t see each other. And this is exactly why I prefer the truth because I absolutely hate awkward moments. I mean who doesn’t? He could’ve easily said what it was and that be it. We could’ve remained friends or just social media friends (yes I unfollowed him because the way he handled this really bothered me).

And so, because we have mutuals, someone who knew we had gone out previously had asked if I minded if they went out with him. I had absolutely no problems with this as I believe we all experience people differently and just because they weren’t for me doesn’t mean they aren’t for you. But also this is why I don't like dating people from school or that other people know because I don’t wanna feel like im giving people “permission” to date someone I went on one date with. Go out with him if you want because imma forsure go out with others. And I may be talking too much here if some of y’all have guessed who I'm talking about (but idc this is my blog), but later on I heard he did have this on again off again situationship with someone and they were currently off so I was possibly a… rebound? Distraction? Whatever yall call it nowadays. He was one (of two) guys that I was actually disappointed that a second date never happened but if I really was a rebound, it wasn’t meant to be from the start. But thank you to that man for making it an enjoyable birthday!