Date #39: The Dark Side of Desire (Part I)

This story isn’t family appropriate and although all are welcome to read, content may be uncomfortable for some

March 21, 2024

So in my last post I mentioned I actually met #39 for the first time an hour before my date with #38. Here’s how that happened:

I was talking to this guy on Hinge for some time. Not too often, just light conversation here and there. It was so lowkey that I would forget he even existed until he would message me again. I mentioned us meeting up a few times and like a typical guy he would kind of dance around the issue and never give me a straight answer. Conversation was so spotty for those few weeks that I had just accepted that we would never meet and that conversation would just die when it was time. In hindsight, this all made sense on why I would get random inconsistent messages throughout the day and no direct answers.

One day I had a book club meeting at Annapolis mall. He messaged me on the app asking what I was doing and when I told him where I was he said he had just left that mall and was only 15 minutes away and asked if I wanted to meet up. I knew I had to get to my date after the book meeting, but after me asking this dude a few times prior to meet up and it never working out, I felt like this was my only chance. I told him I did have to be somewhere else though so I could only hang for 10 or 15 minutes. He agreed.

When he pulled up I told him to meet me in the bookstore I was roaming around, describing what I was wearing so he knew what to look for. I had already had my books but was still walking around aimlessly for him to find me. But we kept going back and forth to the point where I kind of thought he was playing with me. Eventually I checked out and stood on the outside of the store and told him where I was. I saw him exit the store and my jaw almost dropped. Never in my life had I seen someone so damn fine. Ok maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but I really couldn’t believe it. Lightskin of course, he had the tats, great body, colored eyes, and anyone who knows me knows I’m a sucker for some hazel (maybe green) eyes. Everything about him was drool worthy. Only thing is he was about my height or maybe a little taller… but height never been an issue for me so it didn’t even matter.

Instantly when we saw each other the vibes were there straight away. We were already playfully arguing about looking for each other. He took my shopping bags from me to give me a hug and held them for me as we were walking out. The laughs came in .2 seconds (I mean his looks and personality had to make up for his height).

So as we’re walking out the mall I told him I never thought we’d meet because he kept dodging my question. He told me he doesn’t live close, but he was still being secretive about it. I told him if he lived out of state we might as well stop talking now and he said “oh I guess we’re really going to stop talking then”. I was playing but then I paused because wym… my date range on Hinge is set to only match with people within a 50 mile radius so how would I have matched with someone out of state ya know? I said, “don’t tell me you live in a different state…” This man gon tell me he lives in whole ass Germany.

What?

What??

So of course I’m like wtf? He told me he’s in the military (I should have ran at this point) but that he’s actually from out here in Maryland and has been out here for a few weeks visiting his mom for her birthday, but that he’s been living in Germany for the past 6 years. I– how was this supposed to work? What even was the point in being on the app? He said he had forgot to change his location... but then why not mention it when I would ask to hang out? So I was prepared for this to be the only time I saw this man.

We walk to his car and we were still very laughy and jokey with each other. He drove me to my car and I really did not want to go on my date and actually considered cancelling but I hate people cancelling last minute on me so I thought against it (honestly to this day idk if it was better if I did or didn’t cancel). But because I was having a good time with him in such a short amount of time I did stay a little longer than I had originally planned (which inevitably made me late to the date).

So yea he drove me to my car, we talked a bit, great energy, he even got out and walked me to my car and opened my door for me. He asked if he could get my number even though it wasn’t an official date and I had to break my not-giving-my-number-out-until-after-the-first-date rule for him. So he gave me his German number and from there I just hoped to see him again…

…which I did a few days later. He told me his favorite cookie spot was near me and every time he comes home he has to go there. That day he decided to go and invited me along and of course I wasn’t about to say no. This was the day I had argued with Ivory (#33) beforehand and didn’t want him ruining my mood before my date but with a man that fine nothing was about to ruin it.

So Germany and I grabbed the cookies from Heaven’s Bakery, walked around the mall for a short time (it’s a pretty desolate mall) then sat in his car talking for hours…my fav! 

Here’s where things get interesting. We’re talking about a bunch of different topics: friend stories, family, old relationships, the like. We were talking so long we even dived into sex topics. He asked me if I’ve ever been to a “social club”. Let’s pause here because when I retold this story to my friends and asked them if they knew what it was they would either say no or they would think it was something different than what it was presented to me as. So I told Germany no I’ve never been to one. He said back in the day it was called a swingers club. I’m like oh that’s interesting…yea definitely didn’t know what a social club was then lol.

But he asked if I would be open to going to one one day and I’m like you know what… I actually would. He said “oh good because it’s newbies night tomorrow”. Oh you want me to go tomorrow surprised emoji Uh… literally didn’t know what to think. I mean I really was interested and open to seeing what this was about, and when else would I get this opportunity to go? I didn’t even think they were still a thing… not officially that is. So I’m like ok tell me more about this “social club”.

So at the end of the night we grabbed Canes, our next “date” was set, and we parted ways for the time being. The next night I was supposed to hang with Ivory but I clearly had better plans at this point so I had to cancel on him. So sad, too bad.

Now here it is Friday night, and I’m getting ready to go to this sex club I liked to call it, which Germany would get irritated with and ask why I kept calling it that and… is that not what it is?

So I drive almost an hour to Catonsville, MD to Tabu Social Club. He even told me if I was comfortable with it we could get a hotel room across the street so I can drink freely and as backwards as it sounds, I actually wasn’t too comfortable with that. What he described this place (and as it’s advertised) it’s a nightclub, so he explained we didn’t have to have sex. But he’s a guy… he could scream it from the rooftops that he wasn’t expecting to have sex but I knew how untrue that was. But also I wasn’t going to drive that far and put myself in this situation if I didn’t want to have sex with him either. So before even agreeing to go I had to first ask myself if I even wanted to have sex with Germany. We all know the answer to that. He was fine, the personality was there… but because I was in my “wanting a relationship” era I didn’t want to have sex with guys anymore just because they were cute or just because I liked them. I wanted to actually build a connection first. But again… when would I have the chance to do this again? I mean how many guys would actually be open to it? I didn't decide to have sex with him just because I wanted to see this place because if it was anyone else presenting this to me I would've passed on the offer. But honestly, I did want to do it with him even without the club itself so why not do it somewhere new for me? Plus I knew he was going back to Germany on Sunday soooo this forsure felt like my only chance.

So we arrive, I’m dressed in my black heels and tight black dress, lowkey nervous because I don’t know what I’m getting myself into but also excited. Because I was a first timer, we chose to get a tour of the place when offered. Everything they told me was pretty much everything Germany told me in the car the night before:

• First things first, women control everything. To enter this place you need a membership card, and only the woman has access to the card. Single women or couples can get in, but men cannot get into the club without a woman being with him. I was already loving the rules of this place. You bring your own bottle and tag it at the bar. Again, only the woman can present her membership card to get the drinks, and the club provides free soda.

• When you first walk in you enter the bar area. To the right is the dance floor with a stripper pole and two dance cages. There’s also enough seating space for those who just want to enjoy the vibe.

• To the left of the bar there’s a smoking room and then downstairs is where it all goes down (pun intended).

• Downstairs is where all the sex rooms are: the group room (you can only participate in this room with 4-6 people), the stripper room, some type of Japanese style room, voluptuous room, LGBTQ+ friendly room, their most popular room: the high-bed room (there’s steps to get on the bed and there's a mirror on the ceiling), voyeur/underwater room, BDSM room, BDSM/voyeur room, neon room, and the last room of them all in the back is what I would call the orgy room. There’s about 5-6 beds and anyone can go in and out of the room but the only rule is that you have to be doing something in the room, whether it’s having sex, giving oral, or just making out; you have to participate and not just stand around being a weirdo. This can be with your partner only, you don’t have to participate with others, but know you might be in the same bed with others if you’re on one. There’s also a small window for those on the outside to look in.

• You do have to reserve the rooms except the orgy room and you only have access to the room for about 50 minutes at a time. It’s best to reserve early (when you arrive), because they do fill up fast. And of course, only women can reserve the rooms. In the rooms they also provide extra sheets so to make the employee’s jobs easier, you can strip the bed yourself or they’ll do it after every session. But when you enter the room the bed should already be bare so that you’re comfortable putting a new sheet on yourself.

• Along with extra sheets they also provide condoms and showers.

So yea very women-centric! And nothing I’ve experienced before. I won’t lie though, I did think it would’ve looked more upscale… not that it was run down or anything, but you could tell this place has a lot of visitors. But as long as attire goes, it is still a nightclub so women are in dresses and heels and men have to wear a collared shirt or one will be provided. I do notice too that the crowd is pretty diverse. I would’ve assumed it would be older couples but there’s really a variety of races and ages which made it more comfortable for me.

Now that I got the rules out of the way… I won’t go into much detail about what specifically I did there but we did have a drink, spent some time in the club/seating area, then headed downstairs and chose the Japanese style room. Was it awkward? I made sure to be a little tipsy beforehand to not be too in my head so I can’t say that it was. Not more awkward than having sex with anyone for the first time no matter the setting.

Alright that’s as much as I’m speaking on that. So we walk around to the other rooms and I start to check out the neon room because I see the door is wide open and I was so caught off guard when I walk in. I just see this woman with her naked ass tooted up to the sky giving this man head while he’s laying on the bed. Another rule: A red light on top of a closed door means it’s in use, but if the door is open/unlocked and people are inside, it means they do not mind being watched. I backed out because for one I forgot the rule that they don’t mind being watched, and two it just felt invasive to just be standing there watching these strangers. I told Germany what was going on and he reminded me that they don’t mind but that I had to walk back in first because only women can enter rooms first. I was hesitant but I didn’t want to walk in awkwardly so I just entered as if it was any other room. The dude waved at me and I was just like “hello!” because what else do you do or say? He asked how I was and then the woman said hi then she went back to doing what she was doing. I told him I was fine and asked the question back to him but clearly he was doing fine as well. He asked if I was enjoying the show and I felt the need to say yes but honestly I get uncomfortable watching other people have sex, so I just stayed for a few seconds then dipped.

I will say, however, that the vibes in the place are great. Everyone seems very open and welcoming, which is the type of vibe you would want at such an establishment. Even our tour guide was jokey and made me feel comfortable. Downstairs even has a seating area so you can just be chillin down there if you would like, although they are seated infront of the two voyeur rooms. I also forgot to mention that they do have tvs around the whole place playing porn so whether you’re sitting upstairs or downstairs watching sex on tv or watching it in-person, you’re surrounded by sex regardless. But I mean also in such a place is that really a surprise?

Germany and I grabbed a few more drinks and chilled downstairs until it was closing and then at the end of the night we sat in his car talking more. It was a great night forsure. And then I went home as if nothing happened.

Because I knew he was going back to Germany in the next two days, I didn’t know where things were going between us. I enjoyed and even accepted that this event might’ve been a one-time thing, although I did want to see him again, but we still talked those few days. He then told me that he had to change his flight for Monday instead of Sunday so was available to hang out that night. Of course I wasn’t passing up this opportunity… so where do we go for last minute plans? Good ol’ Dave & Busters.

It was too late for dinner so we sat at the bar having some drinks. This was my 4th time seeing him in one week and the vibes were there the whole way through. Of course I’m thinkin this is too good to be true – a man this fine and he has good conversation and making me laugh? Maybe him living in Germany is why this wasn’t a perfect situation.

As we’re chillin’ at the bar I noticed on his forearm he had a girls name, the time, and some astrology sign. Of course I ask about this… honestly thinking it was an ex’s name. He said “well… this is when girls stop talking to me”. I’m just sitting there like well? Go on… He goes, “you might as well leave now”. I’m not saying anything because I’m waiting for him to reveal whose name is on his arm. He says “think about it. It’s a name… a time…” I’m still thinking it’s an ex’s name and he’s not trying to tell me clearly. More dancing around a question instead of being direct. I said “well I know you have your brother and sisters name on your other arm but–” he’s like “whoa wrong person” And I thought oh shit… it is the wrong person lmfao. That was homie before him who had his siblings names tatted on him! The date I had right after meeting Germany.

But I keep pressing him to tell me because we’re not going to get off of it until he tells me. He says “it’s my daughter. There now you know. I wouldn’t blame you if you left” putting on this fake woe-is-me act (idk if I used that expression right). But I’m like…..that’s it? And as yall know I do not be caring if a guy has a child and at this point it seems to be all I unintentionally attract; I told yall he was my type right? So we just talk about her for a bit, enjoying the rest of our time until D&B closes.

We go back to his car and we talk, make out a little, and then he fell asleep. Like right there laid in my lap started snoring and all. I’m like mmmm idk what to do here. So I just sat there for a minute, didn’t even get on my phone or anything. And then he woke up startled, and we decided yea it’s time for the both of us to leave. I had work the next morning and he had a 50 minute drive back home. I was sad of course, because I just knew this was going to be the last I saw of Germany.